A window

The music of Philip Glass makes me feel at home. Apparently flat but deeply mysterious. The nuances of repetition. Change in no change. Peaceful and yet disquiet. A tension of opposites. Quiet and yet so loud. An inbetweenness. I often dream of windows through which I get ‘to the other side’, usually some sort of…

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On doing nothing

I recently finished watching the fourth season of The Crown. Throughout the series, the characters explain how the Crown and the elected Government represent the two sides of power. One side that is changeable, works hands-on, gets dirty and suffers the blame, and another side that is eternal, idealised, immaculate, almost magical. There comes a…

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The Void

And who am I? This question fills me with a kind of emptiness, as if highlighting what’s missing, rather than what’s present. The void. The nothingness that accompanies the lack of answers. The void has been with me since my early childhood, draining energy, will, and light. I tried to escape from it, to bury…

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Clones

Am I unique? Am I not repeating the pattern of so many human beings before me? Haven’t I been ‘me’ before, in another one? Am I the first of my kind? Don’t I make the same mistakes as that who was like me? Won’t another come later who will be like ‘me’, with my same…

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The living doubt

I see all these people with strong opinions. As if they were experts in medicine, virology, immunology, biochemistry, statistics, politics, law, economy and football. I guess strong opinions give them some sense of control over the ever changing reality. A sense that they ‘know’ what is going on around them and hence they can predict…

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Searching from

The other day, it occurred to me that maybe I’m not searching for, but ‘searching from’. I wonder if a search is not a flight. If it is not a statement, a recognition that I don’t want to be ‘here’. A void, silent and permanent. I wonder, once again, if a search is not an…

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The blue armour

In its blue castle, behind its high blue walls, dressed in its blue gown, Reason is untouchable. It cannot be touched. It is isolated. Alone. Its fear of everything that is not purely logical makes the ego defensive. Reason is most powerful, formidable, and yet the rational ego fears what it cannot understand. It protects…

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The untrue steps

Some of the steps on which I base my current view of reality seem false now. But even so, they were necessary to bring me here, to this height. This tread on which I now stand may also be inaccurate or plain wrong, but it is necessary that I step on it to get a…

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How could we not follow our heart

I just came across a ‘Follow your heart’ tweet. Seems we can’t have enough of those. Why do we find so attractive the idea of following our heart and, in contrast, we find that following our brain is so uninspiring? We associate the idea of following our heart with freedom, bravery. The heart is always…

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The unhappy nonconformist

I am thinking of full happiness. Bliss. A state of complete satisfaction and fulfilment. Fulfilment of all aims that were, are and can be. The feeling of arrival, of total accomplishment, the end of the road. Necessarily, the end of new aims that might make us happy. Full happiness, nothing beyond. But that’s not on…

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