Searching from

The other day, it occurred to me that maybe I’m not searching for, but ‘searching from’. I wonder if a search is not a flight. If it is not a statement, a recognition that I don’t want to be ‘here’. A void, silent and permanent. I wonder, once again, if a search is not an…

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The untrue steps

Some of the steps on which I base my current view of reality seem false now. But even so, they were necessary to bring me here, to this height. This tread on which I now stand may also be inaccurate or plain wrong, but it is necessary that I step on it to get a…

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Fear of pain

It’s funny how we think we have read something in a book, in a blog, something that touches us, and when we go back to read it again it’s just not there. Maybe there are some words that vaguely resemble what we remembered, but the clear idea we had in our minds is not there,…

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As we ride towards the sunset

As we ride towards the sunset, I ask myself whether the end will ever come, whether the sunset is a place, a real place. An end to the rainbow. A place to rest, to die.  This thought makes me stop. The others look back at me, no words. I am not ready, I say. Ed…

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The mark of Cain

I finished Demian (Hermann Hesse) last week. Once again, it felt like leaving some of my best friends behind, those friends who do not exist but are alive in me. I was somewhat reluctant to reread this book, which had made such an impression on me when I was young, so many years ago. But,…

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