Surrender

Sometimes we read an apparently harmless line, and we can hear the hammer hitting the nail inside us. ‘Whack!’. Then, silence. The small drop hits the lake and slowly, relentlessly, the wave it produces reaches all the corners of our being. A shiver. Our world has changed. A hard truth we always knew, possibly. I…

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On doing nothing

I recently finished watching the fourth season of The Crown. Throughout the series, the characters explain how the Crown and the elected Government represent the two sides of power. One side that is changeable, works hands-on, gets dirty and suffers the blame, and another side that is eternal, idealised, immaculate, almost magical. There comes a…

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The Void

And who am I? This question fills me with a kind of emptiness, as if highlighting what’s missing, rather than what’s present. The void. The nothingness that accompanies the lack of answers. The void has been with me since my early childhood, draining energy, will, and light. I tried to escape from it, to bury…

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Clones

Am I unique? Am I not repeating the pattern of so many human beings before me? Haven’t I been ‘me’ before, in another one? Am I the first of my kind? Don’t I make the same mistakes as that who was like me? Won’t another come later who will be like ‘me’, with my same…

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The living doubt

I see all these people with strong opinions. As if they were experts in medicine, virology, immunology, biochemistry, statistics, politics, law, economy and football. I guess strong opinions give them some sense of control over the ever changing reality. A sense that they ‘know’ what is going on around them and hence they can predict…

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The blue armour

In its blue castle, behind its high blue walls, dressed in its blue gown, Reason is untouchable. It cannot be touched. It is isolated. Alone. Its fear of everything that is not purely logical makes the ego defensive. Reason is most powerful, formidable, and yet the rational ego fears what it cannot understand. It protects…

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Forgiving oneself

When I was young and I heard about the scars that life leaves in you, I thought they were the result of events that had happened to you. But no. It’s your own sins that scar you the deepest. Over and again, last call for sinWhile everyone’s lost, the battle is wonWith all these things…

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A falling leaf

Some days, I just sit here and watch. Here. Now. A falling leaf. A leaf that has accomplished its aim in the world and is now dropped by the tree, no longer needed. It floats, it dances briefly, waving goodbye, and falls. It now paves my new way. Thank you, my dear. Know that your…

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It is always today

It is interesting that “want” (the noun) means “a lack or deficiency of something”. I guess, “to want” would mean to experience this lack or deficiency. To want is to feel a void.

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As we ride towards the sunset

As we ride towards the sunset, I ask myself whether the end will ever come, whether the sunset is a place, a real place. An end to the rainbow. A place to rest, to die.  This thought makes me stop. The others look back at me, no words. I am not ready, I say. Ed…

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